Beware of Greeks Bearing Clomid

Regular readers of my blog know I’ve been periodically posting ‘Trying to Conceive Proverbs’ (Click here: http://the2weekwait.blogspot.com/2010/09/trying-to-conceive-tailored-proverbs.html or here: http://the2weekwait.blogspot.com/2010/10/seize-egg-trying-to-conceive-proverbs.html ). What I do (and I admit, I have fun doing it) is I take a well known proverb and tweak it to fit the pursuit of trying to conceive. An example is “If at first you don’t succeed, f*ck, f*ck again.“

When putting these lists together, one proverb I came across was, “Beware of Greeks bearing Gifts.” This cracked me up as it reminded me of my first reproductive endocrinologist. For those who don’t know, he was the one who missed that I had a huge uterine polyp for what appears to be over a year and… he happens to be Greek.

During the time I worked with him, we did three inseminations and one IVF all without knowing there was a polyp “cock blocking” our best fertility assisted efforts. In effect, thanks to Dr. Loser McLoserville, I am now out of fertility coverage on my insurance since he didn’t see that Jackson Polyp was squatting in my uterus giving us all the middle finger.

So when I thought of the ‘Trying to Conceive Proverb’, “Beware of Greeks bearing Clomid”, it actually had personal meaning to me.

Since I once again got my period a few days ago and after finding out my insurance company wasn’t covering any more fertility treatments, I figured now was as good of a time as any to talk to a lawyer. Unfortunately, Matlock wasn’t available, which is a shame. I do love his blue suits and his devil-may-care attitude.

The lawyer I did speak to, Mr. Not-Matlock, felt we didn’t have a case. When Dr. Greek did an HSG with Saline in January 2009, it showed a vacant uterus. In March 2009, a few months after this HSG, was when we first started officially working towards getting pregnant. Then in November 2009, we did the first of our three inseminations and eventually, in April 2010, we did our first IVF. Even though there were other opportunities to do another HSG throughout, perhaps with dye this time, the fact remains, according to the lawyer, that if the initial HSG showed nothing, it’s hard to make an argument that the doctor should have known about Jackson Polyp.

Furthermore, I’m still not pregnant (and yes, I thanked the lawyer for pointing that out). He said, “Not to bum you out but who is to say you don’t have another issue keeping you from getting pregnant.” I’m beginning to grow a fondness for all those lawyer jokes…

In general, Mr. Not-Matlock felt $10,000 wasn’t enough to sue for anyway, that it would be hard to prove damages and out of my options, I’d be better off just going to Dr. Greek, explaining to him what happened and seeing if I could get a free insemination out of the deal. Really? Is that the deal somewhere in the fertility world? Three failed inseminations and get the fourth one free? Do I need a coupon for that? Is there a free blender involved?

To me, this approach would be like if I got food poisoning from a restaurant and when I called to inform them, they offered to make it up to me by offering a free meal there. I mean really… would you want to go back and eat there again?

Also, confronting the doctor, even if I do it in the nicest way possible, would be uncomfortable. This, I don’t mind so much. It’s if and when he agrees to do the free insemination that it would be beyond weird. Heated exchanges and thrown accusations in his office are one thing. Tension when my legs are up in stirrups while he’s handling my husband’s junk is entirely another.

I’ve thought a lot about it and although the word “free” is compelling and although we are not in a financially choosey place, I sincerely think in this case, beggars CAN be choosers. I simply can’t go back there and tell him to stick a catheter up my wah-hoo after I genuinely feel like he has already screwed me over. I just can’t. I’m calling time of death on the whole Dr. Greek chapter in my life… at least for now.

So where does that leave us? Initially, we were going to save up for an insemination with my new and improved reproductive endocrinologist but then, it occurred to us that if we’re going to save up anyway, if the odds are better with invitro and if I’m getting a year end bonus, why not just skip the insemination and go straight to IVF as soon as we get the money? Yes, I hate waiting and yes, I’d much rather spend my bonus on anything else in the world but for now, this seems like a sound plan.

Our goal is to do an IVF in either December 2010 or January of 2011. In the meantime, we are going to continue getting opinions from other lawyers, I’m going to let Dr. Greek know about the polyp via a letter in the hopes that perhaps he’ll use this information to help the patients that continue to go to him and I’m going to make the most of October, November and December by once again focusing on having great sex whenever the hell I want it.

Of course I’m still hoping we get pregnant naturally but frankly, I’m not counting on it anymore. We’re saving up and mentally preparing for IVF 2.0. For my own sanity and happiness, I need to just say that’s how it’s going to be and use the next couple of months to enjoy the holidays, hopefully lose weight, take care of myself and revisit the world of crazy monkey sex which is a world you know I’ve always been fond of.