It’s been awhile and one of my goals for 2017 was to blog more. Since my original post is currently on a make believe shelf, I figured I’d like to share some “fertility anecdotes” I’ve collected in recent months to hopefully give you a chuckle.
And of course, if you have any of your own, please include in comments!
One: Right Sample, Wrong Office
A man shared with me that he was meant to drop off his sperm sample. He “collected it”, was driving to the doctor’s office and received a work call. He was so stressed about both delivering the sample and work that he was a bit distracted. He walked into the doctor’s office, went up to the front desk, put the cup on the counter and explained to the receptionist what it was. She promptly responded with, “Sir… this is an ophthalmologist’s office. I think you want the doctor down the hall.” If she were a good marketer, she would have suggested he stay for an eye exam.
Two: Don’t Take My Wife – please
Believe it or not, this second anecdote is ALSO about a sperm sample. This was back in the day when we all used VHS tapes and VCR’S. Yes… I know… that was a while back. A man went to give his sample and brought in a VHS tape of his wife that she made for him. I’d like to pause and talk about this man’s true dedication to his spouse as I would imagine most husbands would like to live a little and check out something new. ANYWAY, he watched the tape, got the sample and headed home. Trouble is that once he arrived home – he realized he LEFT the tape of his wife in the sample room. He of course called the clinic immediately to get the tape but there were other men who used the room after him so one can only wonder who else saw it. I would love to know if he shared this information with his wife but if he was smart, he didn’t.
Three: Clean Contacts
A friend of the family who is a doctor shared this one with me. She had a patient who kept contracting one STD after another. When she called to tell the patient that she again had tested positive for a new strain, the patient said, “I don’t know why this keeps happening!” The doctor said, “I think you should check your contacts.” (Meaning the people she comes into contact with). The patient responded with, “I do. I clean them every day before putting them in my eyes!”
Four: Arrested Embryo
I was talking to a newbie about the IVF process and she was telling me about a recent appointment with her reproductive endocrinologist. She said that he used the term, “Arrested Embryo”. She said, “I was too embarrassed to ask what that meant. I’m assuming it’s people who are going through IVF while in prison.” I’m not sure how she made that conclusion but at least she didn’t think it was a sitcom starring Jason Bateman.
In closing, I sincerely am planning to write more here. I think what happened was I’ve been blogging other places that I neglected this space. It’s like Blogspot is saying, “Ummmm, Jay? Have you been seeing other blogs???” And although I have, they don’t mean nearly as much to me as this one does. The friends that I’ve made online and especially through this blog have meant the world to me.
To prove though that I really have been seeing other blogs, here are a few of the posts I’ve written elsewhere if you want to check them out:
With hope and humor… as always,
I have a semen sample story of my own: when we were going through fertility treatment (specifically we were still at the IUI stage), my husband was convinced that he could provide a better specimen if he was allowed to produce it at home and bring it in. He got the go-ahead from our RE, provided that he brought the specimen in within 30 minutes of production (for lack of a better word).
We live a 25-minute drive from our RE's clinic, so he knew that this would put him on a tight schedule. He still thought it would be preferable to ejaculate at home.
Long story short, he got caught in traffic caused by an accident on the way to the RE clinic to drop off the specimen and missed the window. He ended up just pitching the specimen cup of semen in a dumpster behind his office.
Needless to say, when we moved on to IVF, I paid a little extra for him to freeze a sample ahead of time, just in case.