Do you remember in fifth grade when they tested your physical ability? You’d run, you’d do sit ups, and they’d try to force you to climb up a rope (for whatever damn reason). Do you remember the chin ups? I could never, ever do chin ups. I still can’t. I vividly remember just hanging there […]
Grabbing June by the Balls Read More »
May 27th, 2010 To Whoever Runs the Universe: I certainly don’t have all the answers. I suck at Jeopardy, I have a B.A. in Theatre and I’ve never solved any of life’s great mysteries beyond how to stop a run in your pantyhose with clear nail polish (which only works half the time). Perhaps there
My Formal Trying to Conceive Letter of Complaint Read More »
In keeping with the universe’s infinite wisdom to crap all over me, I’ve been put in charge of planning not one, but TWO baby showers. Yup, you read that right; The Baby-less Babe is planning a Baby Shower. Boo! Shall we all start drinking tequila shots now or wait till the party happens???? Two women
The Infertile Plans a Baby Shower Read More »
In the movie STAR WARS, Yoda says, “Do or do not… there is no try.” In sessions with my therapist, when we’re talking about one thing or another and I use the phrase “I’ll try”, she always responds with, “Try and touch your nose.” Obviously, touching ones nose tends to be easy, so when I
Yoda’s Thoughts On Trying to Conceive Read More »
One thing I’ve always had is a sense of humor. My mom told me that even when I was a baby, she would hear me lying in my crib telling myself jokes and then hysterically laughing. What can I say? I was always my best audience. Throughout the whole trying to conceive debacle (or T.T.C.D.
Team Edward and Team Fertility Read More »
I’ve always been a big fan of classic television. One of my favorites growing up was The Mary Tyler Moore show. If you remember, the theme song, “Love is All Around” talked about how love was all around the show’s heroine, Mary Richards. How nice for Mary. However, if I had a show with a theme song right now,
You’re Gonna Make it After All Read More »
It would be nice to have a decent amount of time where I’m not worrying about my cervical mucus. I’m just sayin’. I’m currently sitting at my desk looking at bottles of Vitamin E, Evening Primrose Oil and Grapeseed extract and wondering, does any of it really help? Should I eat pineapple? Should I down
I’ve given today’s blog entry a lot of thought. As someone who has been trying to conceive for over a year, Mother’s Day is an unintentionally crappy day. It’s the equivalent of using birth control when you’re single. Every time you take that birth control pill or insert that NuvaRing, it’s a reminder of how
Happy Non-Mother’s Day! Read More »
I realized something important today: There are “Smoking Areas” and “Smoke Free Zones” but there aren’t any “Designated Crying Sections”. We should really look into that. This morning, I had an incident that I haven’t had since the fifth grade. I was at my day job sitting at my desk when suddenly, I felt like
Designated Crying Section Read More »
This morning, I got my period. Actually, it’s so heavy that it’s more like an entire sentence than a period. I find it interesting that both “Aunt Flo” and my mother-in-law arrived on the same day and are staying for approximately the same amount of time. And notice you never see Aunt Flo and my
It May Be “Uterus” but it’s really “Uter-Me”. Read More »