Defrosting Hope

As we all know, when dealing with matters of fertility, the word “Hope” can become a four letter word. So whenever I tell anyone to, “Keep hope alive!”, I know firsthand that this is easier said than done. It may entail some CPR, alcohol and some cheesy quotes (which I adore) to keep it going but to me, the bottom line is although hope can be a bit of a bitch, out of all your options (hope, despair, resignation, etc.), I sincerely think it’s the best way to go.

I talk about hope and my infertility experience in an interview I recently did with a Website called, “How They Got Pregnant” (click here to read if you’re interested). It also includes pictures of me and my son which I don’t often share.

And on the note of hope, I recently connected with a lovely woman named “Rebecca”. Rebecca is in need of both help and hope. To give you a brief background, she is Orthodox Jewish and was only two weeks away from her wedding when she unexpectedly suffered a debilitating stroke. She fell to the floor, broke her neck and consequently suffered both spinal cord and brain injuries. Her fiancé, unable to deal with the recent turn of events and her physical state, called off the wedding.

(You can read her full story on ABC News by clicking here).

She is 38 years old, has little to no money and is hoping to freeze her eggs while she continues to recover and eventually, hopefully, meet someone to start a family with but someone who will stand by her no matter what.

Unlike the Roman Catholics (of which I was raised as), the Orthodox Jews are far more supportive of the medical advancements made in the fertility world. As you will see in the article mentioned above, they are even encouraging women to invest in egg freezing. Egg freezing is definitely a growing trend (albeit an expensive one) that can be an invaluable option for those who are in situations similar to Rebecca, or those who are about to go through Cancer treatment or even simply those who haven’t found the person they want to settle down with yet.

I’ve been working Rebecca for about a month or so and as of right now, it looks like we have found a clinic willing to work with her on freezing her eggs at a more reasonable price given her circumstances. However, I’m still hoping to help her raise some money to help cover the costs.

At my job, I talk to people all day every day that ask me the same two questions:

1. How can I have a baby?

2. How can I afford treatment?

Even if you have insurance, sometimes it only covers a certain dollar amount, others only cover IUI’s or certain medications and then there are some that only cover the consult. My point is that when I say I am hoping to help Rebecca, I know there are many of you reading this thinking, “Uhhhh… if you’re helping people raise money, please feel free to send a few bucks my way!” Believe me my friends, I so wish I could.

This reminds me of a homeless man that I see every day on my subway and in a weird way, he’s become a sort of celebrity on the A train. He is a gentle, sweet man that always says the same exact thing every time you see him. He says hello, gives his name and then says, “If you don’t have it, I can understand because I don’t have it either.” The “it” is meaning money.

So, if you’re struggling with infertility, then chances are you’re in no position to help Rebecca. After three years of my own treatment, my Savings Account looks more someone’s age than a nest egg. But I still would like to get the word out as that’s what we do in this community: We try to help whatever way we can.

If you are able to help give in the slightest contribution, please visit:  

If you are not able to, then I ask you to please send Rebecca some hope. I have no doubt that she will send it back to you as well.

2 thoughts on “Defrosting Hope”

  1. I really enjoyed this, and you're quote from the homeless man made me stop and think, "if you don't have it, I can understand because I don't have it either." IVF costs are such an annoyance, but I hope that with time they can come down as well as get better. Thank you for this post.

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