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The Eagle Has Landed

Today was the first day of my two-week wait. Since I just had the transfer of eggs yesterday, it was mostly a bed rest day and I’ve got to tell you, I don’t have much to report other than my ceiling needs a new coat of white paint and daytime television pretty much sucks.

For some reason, while I laid there collecting dust, the thing I kept thinking about the most were all the friends and family that have gotten pregnant in the time Sam and I have been trying. I wasn’t thinking about them in a bitter way or even in a competitive way. It was more that I was impressed. There was one point in the past year that I began to think that if I even alluded to a friend that we were thinking of starting a family, that friend in particular would soon get knocked up. This is why I eventually only started telling menopausal women and gay men.

One particular case popped into my head today that I have to share with you. Awhile back, I was on the phone with my childhood friend, Julie. At the time, Julie had a two-year-old daughter and she was telling me that they were thinking of trying for a second child. I confided in her that we were thinking of trying as well. Enthusiastically, she exclaimed, “That’s great! Let’s get pregnant together!” This is so easier said than done.

It was exactly six months later when I received a seemingly chipper voice mail from Julie. I was dreading calling her back. I had no happy news to report and I was certain that she did. I felt like we made this pact, and I didn’t live up to my part. Still, I sucked it up and returned her call. She, of course, was pregnant. I gave her my congratulations, and asked the standard questions, “When are you due?”, “How are you feeling?”, “Do you know what you’re having?” and as soon as we were done, I tried quickly changing the topic to something desperately fascinating such as Astroturf, but I had no luck. She immediately asked, “Sooooo, what about you? Any babies? What’s the hold up?” I did my best to give her a quick answer and move on with the first thing I could think of. I responded with, “Nothing to report on this end. So, how are Matt’s hemorrhoids?

Now Julie is a great person. She deserves every happiness and I have nothing but love and respect for her. She’s smart, kind, and she has always been a good friend. However, she didn’t seem to take my cue of not wanting to talk about it. Instead, she told me a story about how she recently went hiking with her husband and daughter the previous weekend. She described in great detail how she sat on top of a mountain with her family, and saw a bald eagle fly by. She said to be pregnant, filled with life, surrounded by nature with an incredible view and to see such a majestic bird was just so incredibly life affirming. Perhaps she should have just come over and kicked me.

I avoided sharing with her that on the very same weekend she was on the mountain with her family, I was in the basement of a Kmart by myself bleeding from my period surrounded by marked down clothes. I didn’t see a bald eagle… but I saw a bald man wearing an Eagles shirt.

To be clear, I’m happy for anyone and everyone who has managed to get pregnant without hormone shots and boatload of cash. If the only thing you purchased to start a family was a bottle of tequila, than more power to you. Heck, you could even name your kid Jose Cuervo for all I care. I only ask that if you know your friend wants to have a baby too, and they are not yet knocked up, you may want to avoid sharing with them your life affirming, pregnant, bald eagle story. Save it for THE VIEW. From what I saw today, they could use a life affirming story.

8 thoughts on “The Eagle Has Landed”

  1. You have the FUNNIEST blog I have EVER read in my life!!! I am literally "laughing out loud" right now and my husband thinks I've gone mad… whatelse is new?

    Good luck with your 2WW… hate 'em everytime, but hopefully there will be a pot full o' something good at then end of this o' so colorful rainbow of a journey.

    PS, would you feel ok about emailing me which Dr you see? I'm in the big apple too!

  2. I love your blog!!! I have a dog who is a) apayed, and b) a hermaphrodite, but I am still suspicious that she will get pregnant before I do. You will probably get pregnant before me too! Go you!

  3. I am just in awe of your sense of humor. I tend to lapse into "WHY GOD WHY I WANT A BABY SO BAD KILLMENOOOOOOWWWWWW" when surrounded by my happy pregnant friends. (Oh, and the tally for me is 15. FIFTEEN FREAKING PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENTS SINCE WE STARTED TRYING!!!). If you can make witty inward jokes about bald eagles and bald men, you are a rock star.

    My friends tend to share all the "Raising a baby is sooooo hard" stories with me. I appreciate the gesture, but honestly, I'm not going to say, "You're right, I'm so glad my kid croaked so I don't have to wake up at 3 am to feed it. Bullet dodged."

    "Enjoy" the 2ww. Ha! Ha ha. No but really, try to enjoy it and I hope you get to celebrate at the end 🙂

  4. Ok, seriously people, thank you. As they say, and it ain't no lie, laughter is the best medicine. Well, that and a RuPaul Drag Race Marathon on the Logo Channel. I'm telling you – I'm digging it. Liz — I'd be more than happy to mention to your dog that I'm trying to get pregnant and I'm sure in no time, if your dog is a hermaphrodite, she will get herself pregnant. 🙂 Baby bump bound — I'll email you my doctor's info and thank you so much for laughing along with me. And Secret Sloper – FIFTEEN?!?! WTF????? Maybe we should talk to each other so we'll both get knocked up soon after!

  5. I have spent the last hour reading your posts and laughing and crying simaltaneously (ah the joys of supplemental hormones)! I am on my 5th two week wait, having lost my son at 18 weeks pregnant last year and also a suspected ectopic at the end of 2009! I would like to thank you for helping me get through day 3 post embryo transfer – I just hope laughing does not dislodge embryos!

  6. Since I'm reading this post several years later, I know you were eventually successful. But I have to share: before my 1st IVF cycle, my husband & I went on vacation to Sweden in June 2013, & were in Stockholm during the weekend of the royal wedding between Princess Madeleine & her american husband. Well, guess what….those people just had a baby girl last month, & I'm waiting for my FET next week after 3 retrievals & 4 frozen embryos. Gaaaah!! I hate, HATE this. I'll always remember that vacation as the rub-it-in vacation.

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